Thursday, May 10, 2012

Shaq Fu

I have recurring dreams that I am best friends with Shaq. Yes, Shaquille O’Neal, the 7 foot 1”, 325 pound (according to Wikipedia) former basketball player. 

I recently told this to a group of friends and they wanted to know if it was because I was somehow latently attracted to Shaq. 

However, these dreams are not even remotely sexual. I just truly believe that Shaq is probably an awesome person and it would be great to have him as a best friend. In my dreams, our schtick is the fact that he is so large and I am so small. It’s hard for me not to see Shaq on television without picturing my diminutive self next to him. 

Let’s look at the reasons that I presume Shaq to be so full of awesome: 

  1.     He got drafted to the NBA and got some spotlight on him for his size as well as his skill, winning Rookie of the Year in 1992-93. He led his team, the Orlando Magic, to the NBA Finals in 1995. 
  2.    With his fame, he decided to release some rap albums as well as star in some movies. His first album, Shaq Diesel, went platinum. He even had a guest rapper spot on a song with Michael Jackson.
  3.      Shaq pursued an acting career with credits including: Blue Chips, Kazaam, Curb Your Enthusiasm. 
  4.    He has appeared in numerous video games 
  5.    He majored in business at Louisiana State University, but left after his third year to pursue his career in the NBA. He later returned to complete his bachelor’s degree at the request of his mother. He completed an MBA from the University of Phoenix and most recently, completed his PhD in Education at Barry University. His thesis: “The Duality of Humor and Aggression in Leadership Styles.” He told an ABC reporter that he plans to pursue his education further still by attending law school. 
    His pursuit of education shows that he is well aware of his inevitable demise as a celebrity. He knows he will have to have some sort of skills to survive in the real world. Good for him. 

    All in all, I admire the guy. He got famous and attempted to do everything his little (ginormous) heart desired: rap, act and be educated. 

    Good for him. Let him be an example for all of us.


  1. funny you should mention shaq. George, Geoff, and I used to listen to Shaq's rap record whilst driving with my mother to various locations. She hated the music because of the lyrics

    1. like dookie diarrhea coming out my butt.
    2. I stretch like a condom.

    Geoff was able to meet Shaq at a local mall. Geoff told me that Shaq said he liked his shoes and said

    "nice shoes. Where'd you get those shoes."

    Later, I found out that Geoff was fibbing but the joke still lives on. Whenever Geoff gets a new pair of shoes I summon my best shaq voice (i also am a fan) and say,

    "nice shoes, where'd you get those shoes."

    1. Ha! that's awesome. I'm glad Shaq has been an integral part of your life.